Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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