All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
