check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
