Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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