Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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