Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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