Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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