We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
