ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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