The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
