i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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