I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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