I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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