I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
