I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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