if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Randomize
