He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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