Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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