would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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