She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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