did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize