I just pynch a tree in the face
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
