you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
