Will you blow on my dice?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
