i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
