It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
