I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
