so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
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May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
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I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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