well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
