Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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