Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
