eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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