We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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