You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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