Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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