What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
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we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
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We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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