You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
