so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
