Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize