i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
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I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
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Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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