I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Dick very happy bro
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
