I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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