Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
