What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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