Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize