tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
