hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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