Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i think i have two assholes
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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