return my video game
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He has the fingertips of a God
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