Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
