I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
