i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
