Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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