4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
