nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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