why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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