I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
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