is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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