i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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